Are Nigerian Guys Lazy?

I need to apologise...I've not updated my blog in ages but the last couple of weeks have been crazy. I'm not complaining though, January has been an exciting month for me - I can't believe today is the last day of the month!

So today I've just been lazing about, checking my favourite blogs and surfing the net. It was while doing this that I came across a song on one of my favourite music sites. The song is called Maga No Need Pay by Banky W, M.I, Rooftop MCs, Omawumi, Modele, Bez & Wordsmith and I guess you can call it anti-Yahoo,Yahoo (cyber crime). I listened to the song, liked it and scrolled down the page to see what others thought. I was shocked by the response!!!

It was overwhelmingly negative! I could not believe anyone in their right mind would get angry at people for trying to sing about something positive. I had to read every single one of the comments and the more I read, the more my blood boiled! I got so angry...I felt I had to say my piece.
So here's the comment I posted and here's a link to the original website where you can listen to the song and also read the comments. Let me know your thoughts! http://www.notjustok.com/2010/01/28/leakmaga-no-need-pay-ft-banky-w-m-i-rooftop-mcs-omawumi-modele-bez-wordsmith/?cp=all#comment-29003

Ok so I’ve read all the comments on this page and from a female point of view, its a major eye-opener! Apologies if my post becomes lengthy but I’ve just realised (at least from the overwhelming number of pro-Yahoo Yahoo comments on this page) that most young Nigerian guys are inherently LAZY!!!

There’s something fundamentally wrong with you if you can ever ever justify choosing Yahoo-Yahoo as a way of life, as a career path. That’s so stupid. I know times are hard and thats why I’ll not berate someone that gets involved in Y-Y to sharply sort themselves out (we’ve all stolen a pen or a piece of meat at some point) but to do it soooo unashamedly speaks loudly of your ignorance and disrespect for your fellow human being. To do it continously and then prance around in brightly coloured clothes and ridiculously huge cars and drink yourself to stupor so others can know you’ve ‘arrived’ is the most retarded thing I’ve ever seen. You call the peeps you steal from Magas? Actually, you guys are the biggest magas – you collect the money, spend it on Gucci, LV, Moet, Hennesy etc Last time I checked, those are not Nigerian brands so the money just goes straight back into their economy (I should buy LVMH shares!) Its a freaking vicious cycle spurred on by the Unoriginal Dreams of the Y-Y clan!
Look around you, there are so many failed states in the world! These are hard times for every single country out there! Even the rich are crying.
Quit blaming the lack of opportunities – you sound like a broken record! There are so many opportunites to enrich yourself in the UK, yet Naija boys get to London and what do they do? Yahoo-Yahoo!

The truth is most of these guys are not hustlers…you do not know the meaning of the word. Have you held 3 jobs down while going to Uni? Have you had to pitch your business idea to guys you know only want to get in your pants? Have you had to pay school fees of like 5 children, the way some parents have to? Have you had to do menial jobs? Have you started a business from scratch with nothing and seen it fail or succeed? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Yet you all want to ride Bentleys! Every Nigerian guy wants to get stupidly rich, but most are not even really bothered about the trying bit. I met a guy once who told me ‘I want to be a billionare by 40′. Fine, but did he have a blueprint on how to get there? No, yet he could confidently say ‘I will be rich, by hook or by crook’…is that supposed to trip me or something?
Take a leaf from Mola and Ovie’s book – they are a perfect example of a successful legitimate use of the internet.

If I were Maga Must & Go Pay, Lyone (aka Unknown) etc I will start thinking of an Exit Strategy, cos I tell you most of you are going to become House-Husbands in the future…Naija females are doing our thang…we are Hustling Right!!!

Deuces x

Doja – Our Naughty Little Helper

I watched the video for Maye Hunta's Ekaette recently and the first thought that popped into my head was – Why? Why do Nigerians still employ house-helps even though we generally believe they are thieves, husband-snatchers, witches, slutty etc? I am yet to come across anyone who has a decent thing to say about their house-help, past or present, yet demand far exceeds supply.

The other day my sister who went to Nigeria during the summer was complaining that she couldn't find most of the clothes, shoes and accessories she took to Nigeria for the holidays. I couldn't understand how a trunk-load of clothes could just vanish so I told her to check her wardrobe and silently chided her. If only I had met Doja, our little helper, I would have understood! Unknown to my sis, Doja had been carting away her baffs slowly, steadily and stylishly. She had been keeping it with a 'friend' and hoping to sell it later. She only got caught cos she had upgraded to stealing my dad's things. You know what they say, everyday for the thief...

In fact, Doja is actually quite tame compared to her counterparts. The craziest story I ever heard was about a house-girl that stole on the very first day she was employed. She got caught and was sent away, only for her to come back the next day. This time she came prepared – the babe actually climbed the roof to get her hands on 'madam's gold! (True Story!!!).

Another story is that of...let's call her Chinwe. Chinwe, while being interviewed, told my mom that she was very hardworking – 'I dey wash, cook and clean well well. The only tin be say I dey faint gan'. For some strange reason my mom decided to employ this fainting girl (demand exceeds supply and whatnot). This girl must have been about 19 yet she told my mom that she had never seen her period. My mom took pity on her and assumed she had gynaecological problems so when she started fainting all the time my mom took her to different hospitals, trying to find a cure for this fainting malady. After they had spent money and time on finding a cure, the true nature of Chinwe's illness came to light – she was 5months pregnant. She brought the pregnancy into our house and had been trying, unsuccessfully, to abort it!!! Till today, my mom still believes the girl jazzed her (I think not!)

Personally, I try to give everyone the benefit of doubt and I'll confess that one of the things I look forward to, when I imagine married life, is the army of little helpers I hope to surround myself with. I believe they are pre-requisite for anyone hoping to remain sexy yet sane in that strange land they call marriage! But then, I start to wonder – what if she steals the husband I'm trying to remain svelte for or worse steals my clothes/jewellery?! What if she gives my children juju/jazz?!

Despite all those apparent deterrents, I know I will still tow that line...I will still employ house-helps. Why? The same reason you will – they make life easier ;-)

I leave you with the fabulous Ekaette. Have a lovely week. Big Kiss X

Sugarplum or Firefly...Which one are you?

We all know a Sugarplum or a Firefly. The Sugarplum can be described as the butter-wont-melt-in-her mouth girl, the nice one, the girl-next-door while some might describe the Firefly as the confident one, the loud one, the go-getter basically a firecracker.

My sis and I came up with these names in our final year at university. Basically I had bought a lipgloss called Firefly (coral and bright) and she had bought one called Sugarplum (pink and girly) from the same brand and somehow we used these names to personify ourselves. At the time, I thought the description was apt...I wouldn't describe myself as loud but I'm quite vocal and can talk the ear off of an elephant ;-)
While my friends seem to love me for this, its been the bane of my life where guys are concerned. The main issue is that the first impression guys have of me is that of a Sugarplum. Now its not like I pretend to be something I'm not, no. Its just that I'm usually quiet if I'm not with people I'm comfortable around and as I get comfortable the Firefly comes out to play ;-)
Then, its the 'You've changed' and the 'I'm actually looking to date someone more quiet' nonsense (someone did actually say that to me!). One guy actually told me 'I just wish I could transform you into who I think you should be, you would be so perfect' (TRUE STORY!!!)
I had this discussion recently with one of my guy friends and he was like 'Gem, every Naija guy wants a biddable Sugarplum, they dont want the hassle of a Firefly'. A friend of mine, a certified Sugarplum, also told me that to guys a Sugarplum will always be sweet irrespective of what you do to them. A firefly on the other hand is beautiful to look at but eventually its brightness and buzzing around will eventually annoy you and then you want to kill it!

So what are the Fireflies of this world supposed to do? Not shine as brightly? Keep schtum?!


I actually think most people are both Fireflies and Sugarplums...it really depends on audience and mood. Human Beings are complex like that! Its the way you wear different shades of lipsticks depending on how you're feeling or where you are going. But just like there's one lipstick you wear more than others, I know I'm more of a Firefly than a Sugarplum.

What do you guys think? Which one are you? Sugarplum, Firefly or Both? If both, which is more dominant? What hope is there for fireflies like me meeting someone who will love us for and irrespective of our 'constant buzzing and brightness'?



Have a happy weekend. Big Kiss X

Afterthought: A firefly is actually pretty ordinary during the day, but becomes a remarkable sight when it glows at night. This is a symbolic message to us humans that although our physical appearance may seem one way - it is what is inside us that makes us shine from the inside out. That which is within us will always illuminate us and those around us.

Hello Blogsville...

I am completely new to this.
Yes, I've traipsed, anonymously, around blogosphere for some time now but I never actually felt the need to create my own blog till now -2010. I believe this new year is going to be chock-full of surprises (warm gooey ones I hope ;-p) and the first one happens to be me creating a blog!

Ok introductions. Well I'm...you can call me Gem for now...I'm in that scary place called mid-twenties, I live in the UK and I'm Nigerian (to the bone!). My blog is going to be about ME and the crazy dramas I seem to always find myself in. Hope you enjoy the ride! Big Kiss X